Page Two: Bryce endorses the ThinkGeek Bluetooth Retro Handset

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On our last move, we decided to lose the land line and go all-wireless for our telephony. A phone line at the house was another expense and we barely used it anyway. It’s been almost a year now and we haven’t looked back. During this time my cell phone and I have grown closer. I’ve gotten a bit more reliable about keeping it with me constantly.

Now, my phone is a fairly typical marvel of modern nanotechnology. It’s got hours of music on it, Internet access, a navigation app with voice recognition, Bluetooth, a 3 Megapixel camera with video capability… and oh yeah, you can use it to make calls too. And perhaps most amazing of all, it’s small enough to fit in the same pocket with my keys (just in case I should happen to want to scratch it all up like a turntable at a rap concert).

But therein lies my beef with the thing. It’s designed for the human pocket, not the human head. It’s uncomfortable to hold in the hand for any length of time. Forget cradling it on your shoulder while your hands are busy, it’s so thin that you have to kink your neck at about an 80° angle to pin it there. And the flip-open style does get the microphone closer to my mouth than my old phone did, but it’s still not quite close enough that I can talk at a volume that I consider normal. (And I can’t stand “cell phone voice.” It doesn’t seem to bother most people to have to raise your voice to be heard, but it’s kind of a pet peeve of mine, in any context.)

Enter this thing. It’s a handset like old fashioned telephones used to have, back when cranial compatibility was a primary design goal — there’s a reason phones were shaped that way for so long, after all. But this one’s got Bluetooth, so you can use it wirelessly.

I got myself one with birthday money a while back. It’s as comfortable as I wanted it to be, holding it is like a friendly handshake. The classic shoulder-prop is a much more reasonable technique now, and it cups right up to my mouth so my soft normal voice is usually enough. I do need to crank up the headset volume on my phone to make the earpiece loud enough, but that works perfectly. The battery life is good, for my usage anyway. Two thumbs up!

Writer’s Block: Memo to Myself

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If you could travel back in time, what advice would you give to your younger self?

Hey, Bryce, it’s me, which is to say you. I’m writing from about 20 years in your future. I remember very well how you’re already half expecting this message, daydreaming how it would go, so I won’t waste time with patronizing explanations.

I know you think you love someone, but you doubt yourself because, after all, you’re just a kid, what do you know about love? Not to mention that she’s going out with somebody else. But you should know that twenty years later, thinking about her still kind of feels that same way. Which, I realize, won’t make it any easier on you there in your today. But you should always hold on in your heart, because she’s told me that she’s thought about us too.

Of course, that hardly even counts as advice, because I know full well that you’ll be holding on in your heart anyway. I would also tell you that she’s not the only fish in the sea, but you wouldn’t hear it if I did.

Forget your plans, you don’t really know what you want yet. I’m not sure you’re ready to hear that either, though, which is part of the problem. Maybe I should’ve shot for an older you, but for whatever reason, you’re the past that’s on my mind today.

Enjoy the attached mix tape. I hope you like it, it took me a while to dig up a cassette deck to record it with. Notice a band called They Might Be Giants on there, you should get to New York soon and see them perform. You’ll thank me later, but you should really thank Damon because he’ll introduce you to them in a year or two, I’m only stealing his thunder.

Meanwhile, as soon as possible, get yourself on a boat and see the world. And send postcards to Grandma Betty along the way.

Write something down for me every once in a while too. It’s the only way I’ll be able to hear your true voice, don’t count on me to remember what being you was like. You and I can’t remember for crap. Try to remember that at least.

Steer clear of a girl named Michelle Lee Garrison, she’s toxic. Observe the numerous warning signs. You deserve better.

A parting shot before I go: You’re too cynical. While I can’t quite say you’re wrong to be, it doesn’t make you happy. Just take it down a notch. Spend more time with Grandpa Bill, he knows how to be happy.

Just be yourself and have fun, and the people in your life will sort themselves out based on that.

Chicken Mole Short Stack

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Last night I tried to replicate a dish from my favorite casual Mexican restaurant in New York. They called it “budin poblano,” which is a bit of a misnomer because it’s not like a pudding at all. It did resemble a small cake, though, so maybe that’s where they got the name.

Anyway it’s a stack of tortillas layered with chicken, refried beans, sour cream, and mole. I served it with my ridiculously simple Ro-Tel and frozen corn combo. It turned out really well, I’m psyched because I have missed this dish so much over the years.

Here’s what I did.

Jiggity Jig

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Yesterday Laura suggested that we could come back home a day early, and that’s what we did. She gets more time with the kids this way, and our own bed sounded quite a bit better than one more night and morning at Comfort Suites. So even though the trip was great fun and we enjoyed it, we headed on home yesterday.

But not before climbing to the top of Looking Glass Rock. My legs were still a little worn out from Tuesday’s bike trek, so I was going kinda slow by the time we reached the summit. But it was worth it. The path opened up onto bare stone, sloping gradually to the cliff drop like a beach with sky instead of ocean. It may not have been the highest peak in sight, but standing on the brink, I was on the very edge of the planet. I felt the earth turning beneath me, scraping the sky as it went. It was exhilirating.

The four hour car ride home, while not exactly exhilirating, did give us a chance to sit still for a while, and by then I was quite appreciative of that. We made it home in time to tuck the kids into bed. They were happy to see us. Lydia seemed to have done way more than three days’ worth of growing up. She’s been bursting with Lydiacity today too, she treated us to a dance marathon. I’m so glad we didn’t miss her this morning.