After several months of traditional psychotherapy examining the navel of my psyche, I think the only thing I really learned was that I’d rather be applying a quick Occam’s Razor than ferreting out precise root causes, so that I can then put more time and energy into pragmatic actions.

I’m pretty sure that means it’s been worth it.

But yeah, I’ve decided to take a break of indeterminate length (at least with the individual therapy). I know it’s supposed to be time consuming, and take a long time to even gain any traction. But at least with the therapist I was seeing, it just doesn’t seem like the goals I came in with are even on the horizon.

I’ve been trying to do more self-help reading too, but that is slow going. The book I’m on now has so far spent all of its digital ink describing the benefits of mindfulness. I can only assume that information about actually achieving increased mindfulness is coming later. But it’s been making me drowsy almost right away, every time I start reading.

2 thoughts on “Pause the Therapy Treadmill

  1. I tried seeing a therapist for a few months recently, also. I stopped because 1. I felt I would need SEPARATE therapy to cope with the financial difficulties associated with throwing away $400 a month on what I jokingly referred to as my “prostitute friend” (I pay you and you pretend to care about my kvetching for an hour a week!) and 2. I felt dissatisfied and uncomfortable about how I could tell him things I personally found very ethically and morally upsetting with myself and he would tell me those things were no big deal. I know he was being “non-judgmental,” but it felt to me like he didn’t care about things I felt were 100% destroying me and my relationship. He would always tell me I didn’t appear to have any problems when I knew very well that I DO, and I wanted him to take my sentiments seriously.

    Somehow, though, I do feel like he helped a bit in helping me understand myself. I have a bit more peace and self-acceptance now. We are who we are, basically; we’ve been dealt good cards and bad ones; the trick is maximizing the good and minimizing the bad. I don’t believe there’s much we can change; unfortunately that which is “changed” is really just buried latent within and never leaves . . but it might just pop out at the worst moment! We’ve got to just call a truce with ourselves and make peace. We are who we are.

    • Yeah, I have trouble swallowing the expense now that I’ve been feeling relatively normal for a while. At least my guy didn’t seem obsequious, though. He seems to care, at least enough, it’s more a question of how much he can really help me.

      Drop me a line sometime if you want, I’ll care about your kvetching for free. :)

      We are who we are, I agree with that. I don’t believe I’ll ever be the sort of person who doesn’t have to work to maintain the changes I’ve been making, who just takes to it naturally. And I wonder if what I can accomplish will even be satisfactory. But there’s only one way to know.