There’s a part of me in Paragon City, a part that most people don’t know. What’s killing me today is realizing that they never will. I have to give up hope that someday I’ll get to bond with my kids over a supergroup concept that we then get to see in action. Or that I’ll ever manage to convince my wife that the game has merits.

I haven’t even told her yet about the November 30 shutdown. It’s been a bit of a wedge in our marriage, to be brutally honest. She’s never approved of it; I’d even say she thinks less of me for playing it. And so I just never talk about it with her at all. To tell her it’s ending would just bring that difference between us into sharp focus. She doesn’t understand it, and has never really wanted to try; now she’d have even less reason to. And I expect she would react with thinly veiled satisfaction, which I would resent. (In fact I probably already am, unfairly enough.) So for now, I’m just not explaining (to anyone in meatspace, really) why I’ve been more sullen and/or easily frustrated lately.

AAAnyway. The post linked below really crystallizes why I’m so upset about the killing of City of Heroes. There is nothing out there that can fill the space it will leave behind.

On the End of a World:

3 thoughts on “Secret Identity Crisis

  1. Understandable. Hard to feel that way and feel like you can’t talk about it.

    Have you thought about maybe planning some gaming with your kids? I’m talking dice-and-paper RPGs, here. Not only a bonding thing, but full-thought creativity, and no worries of outside idiocy. Full control of the world and environs, and total ability on the kids’ imaginations.

    • Yeah, I have a feeling we’ll get a little family tabletop game going eventually instead. I’ve been too focused on squeezing the most out of these last weeks to start planning ahead yet, and the kids are maybe a bit young still anyway, but it’s coming.